Jules Ruddick – When


This song is written and performed by Jules Ruddick and submitted as part of the Create a Song project. I would like to share with you a portion of the email sent with his song submission:

Wrote this earlier this year on piano & then just played around with it in my studio.

Was diagnosed with lupus a couple of years back after long period of mis/non diagnosis.

Has battered me a bit, come from a very sporty background & now am off school (again) which doesn’t sit well with me & am restricted to a classroom based subject now as opposed to my beloved PE. Still rise as many days as I can determined to crack on in the hope better days are ahead.

This song is about me talking to myself within, to others around me & to the illness itself for some understanding & let up at times.

You can read the lyrics below and listen to the song above. If you are viewing this in an RSS reader, you’ll need to visit the site in order to listen. To download this song for free, right click and save as.


When I am vacant will you bring me back around?
When I feel deafened will you help drown out the sound?
When I get low will you see that it’s not me?
When I feel naked will you restore my dignity?

When I’m frustrated will you step into the breach?
When I am rigid will you help me stretch to reach?
When I am weary will you open up my eyes?
When I am angry will you try to empathise?

This isn’t how I planned it, it’s not how it should be
Take it back to where you found it ‘cos it’s not a part of me

When I need sleep will you make it nightmare free?
When I need space will you please just let me be?
When I’m attacked will you help shut out the pain?
When I look broken will you help me fight again?

This isn’t how I planned it, it’s not how it should be
Take it back to where you found it ‘cos it’s not a part of me
If you’re listening you won’t win, I know this for a fact
‘Cos I will give my everything & I’ll keep fighting back

2 Responses to Jules Ruddick – When

  1. Great song Jules very moving and sums up your difficult times; keep up the good fight xxxYOU WILL GET THEIR xxx Have faith xxx lol xxx

  2. Thanks Katie… if folk can relate to it then maybe it may help… it may highlight diffculties but it also is insistent in fighting back. 🙂

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